Meant to Be
by Asha1984
Summary: One night can change everything. Can Derek and Meredith stand the test of time and will love conquer all. Takes places after S4 finale.
1. Over

**Title: Meant to Be.**

**Author: Asha1984**

**Rating: M A Derek and Meredith fanfic Grey's Anatomy.**

**Summary: Picks up after the season 4 finale. That one night changed things in ways no one could have ever imagined. How will Meredith and Derek cope and can their love stand the test of time. **

**Disclaimer: The characters of GA do not belong to me. They belong to Shonda Rimes and ABC. This fic is just for fun.**

**A/N: Italics represent flashbacks. Thank you in advance to all who read this fic and review :)**

**Chapter 1: Over**

Meredith looked at the candles slowly over the course of the night they had flickered out one by one. She glanced at her delicate wrist looking at the time again.

_"Stay here, Don't Move. Wait for me."_

Five hours had passed and here she was stood waiting for him. For Derek. Here in the cold Seattle night. She rubbed her arms trying to keep herself warm. She was all whole and healed and he wasn't here. She poured her heart out to him. To Derek Shepard, the love of her life and she thought he felt the same way. "Apparently not. I am such an idiot," she spoke angry at him for not showing but mostly angry at herself for letting her guard down and letting him back into heart once again.

He was probably with Rose screwing her senseless both of them laughing at her display tonight. Thats it she was done. It was so over she was never letting Derek Shepard back into her life again. All he did was hurt her over and over again.

Grabbing the empty box she angrily threw in the candles, their flame had been so promising at the beginning of the night. How could she have been so wrong? Dreams and hopes faded in just a single night. Their would be no home, no place where their children could play. Everything was over.

She grabbed the box dumping it in the back of her car. A drink she needed tequila and lots of it. Getting into the drivers seat she started the car and made the drive home leaving all hopes and dreams behind. Leaving Derek behind once and for all.

* * *

Meredith hoped no one was awake as she walked into the dimly lit house. Leaving the box of candles on the side she walked towards the kitchen. Opening the cabinet she grabbed the nearest bottle of tequila she could find and poured herself a generous amount into a glass.

"Ahhh you will never let me down," she spoke bitterly raising her glass and sighing in satisfaction as the cool liquid hit the back of her throat. She was going to be okay, she was Meredith Grey. She had to be okay. Grabbing the bottle she made her way towards the comfort of her living room. Throwing her shoes off she settled into her plush couch and grabbed the tequila bottle taking long swigs of it.

" To me and my messed up life," she saluted letting out a small giggle. "Guess I really am Ellis' daughter"

She reached forward grabbing the nearest magazine of the coffee table just as the familiar sounds of her cell phone rang through the quiet room. She decided against picking it up all she wanted to do was be alone and wallow in her misery. The person on the other end had different ideas to hers and she watched as the phone continued to ring.

Sighing she reached over and picked up the phone holding it to her ear.

"Grey, why the hell aren't you answering your damn phone?" came the harsh voice of Miranda Bailey.

"Dr Bailey, I finished my shift over 6 hours ago," she sighed in response reaching for the bottle once more.

"Grey, never mind that I need you here now. We have a serious trauma coming in. I'm gonna need everybody. Is that clear."

"Yes Dr Bailey," she sighed placing the phone on the table. So much for my night with tequila. Maybe going to work would get her mind of him. After all being in surgery was something she enjoyed. It was a rush and she needed something to lift her spirits.

She reached for her shoes putting them on. She grabbed her keys and bag and headed out to Seattle Grace.

* * *

"Where the hell have you been?" came the questioning voice of her friend Christina as she walked into the locker room.

"Hey Cris, nice to see you too," she smiled grabbing opening her locker. She pulled out her scrubs and proceeded to change into them.

"So... you were supposed to tell me what happened...I thought I was your person," came the response.

"Nothing happened, just nothing."

"What? I thought you were going to tell McDreamy..."

"Cris, just don't I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk about him," interrupted Meredith.

Alex walked into the locker room. " Come on Bailey is asking for you both...the trauma is coming in?"

Meredith and Christina walked out of the room following him outside. They watched as a man was wheeled in and rushed to the operating room.

"Major accident happened tonight. These two cars just collided right on top of each other...You should have seen the wreckage," informed the paramedic. We're lucky to get them out of the mess.

"Yang, Grey with me now," yelled Bailey watching as another cart was wheeled in. The paramedic was right it looked terrible. The paramedic got nearer and Miranda grabbed the cart.

"Oh my god," Grey you go see if Hahn needs you now.

"What? Dr Bailey...I...thought I was going to be..." she asked suddenly confused. She moved forward to where Miranda was and stopped. Her heart literally stopped in that entire second as she looked at the victim laying there, all bloodied and bruised. No this can't be. It was not real.

"Derek!"

**TBC **


	2. Critical

**Chapter 2: Critical**

"Derek!"

Meredith looked at the gurney in front of her. It couldn't be, this was a dream. She was going to wake up and find herself in his arms and none of this would have ever happened.

"Meredith!"

"Dr Grey!"

Voices were calling to her but she could not comprehend what was happening. Everything was a blur. Derek...her. Derek was lying there eyes closed, blood coming out from a wound in his chest.

"Dr Grey, you need to get out of here right now. Dr Yang please escort Dr Grey away," informed Bailey shocked that Derek Shepard was laying there. Her colleague and friend was on the gurney fighting for his life. She could not imagine how Meredith would be feeling but they had to act professional, for him.

"No...I...I need.. I need to help you," stuttered Meredith looking at her.

"Derek...you need to wake up...get up please...," she spoke gently touching his face. "Oh god...Derek"

She couldn't look at him anymore and before she knew it she had emptied out the contents of her stomach collapsing to the floor in pain clutching at her stomach painfully as heavy sobs wracked her body.

"Yang take care of her and Karev you call the chief we are going to need him for this," demanded Bailey pushing the gurney towards the operating room.

"It's my fault...all...my...fault.." mumbled Meredith looking at her friend.

"You didn't make the accident happen," informed Cristina grateful that Izzie and George came over to help her.

"If..if I didn't go... tonight and.. then he would never..never have driven to see..Rose... and God...Cris I thought...I thought... so bad...of him for not showing up...and..." she explained stumbling on her words. Her breathing quickening with each word that passed her lips.

"Mer, sweetie you need to breath, take slow deep breaths you are not to blame for this," spoke Izzie the situation reminding her of how she felt when Denny was fighting for his life in the hospital.

They helped get a shaking Meredith of the floor and into the locker room. Meredith was in a haze not sure what was happening. She didn't move as Izzie and Cristina helped remove her soaked scrub top and wash her face. She couldn't move. Derek he needed her , she had to be there for him.

"I... need to go Derek, I have.. to help," she announced quickly getting up and leaving the room. She walked towards the nurses station watching as a group of them stood in the corner talking about Derek.

"Honestly, I don't know how he is going to make it through this and someone should let Rose know," spoke a nurse she recognized as one of Rose's friends.

Why were they acting like he was dead? He was going to make it through this. He had to. Derek Shepard was not a quitter.

"He's going to make it and you should be doing your job rather than sitting around gossiping," she spoke making her presence known and glaring at them. "He's NOT going to die. "

Meredith looked at the sympathetic glances of her friends and ran towards the OR. Each step feeling like a milestone.

She stopped in her tracks when she collided into a large chest. Looking up she saw Mark standing there, His eyes clouded with grief. She felt the tears building up in her soft eyes.

"Mark...where's Derek?"

"I'm sorry Meredith, I can't let you through. Chief thinks its for the best," he informed showing the rarer softer side of himself as he placed an arm around her waist allowing her the comfort if she needed to take it.

He couldn't believe it when Bailey had told him Derek had been in an accident. His best friend. Granted they had hurt each other and were not as close as they once were but he still considered him to be a friend And slowly they were building a relationship again.

He led Meredith to the waiting area and silently they sat with her. No one saying a word, everyone handling the grief their own way.  


* * *

Hours later Chief Webber walked out of the operating room along with Bailey. He watched Meredith sat in one of the chairs. He watched her slowly moving body, she must have been exhausted. Her friends sat in the other vacant chairs nearby. Mark looked up from where he was sat and stood up walking towards him.

"Richard, how is he?" he asked concern etched all over his face.

Meredith stirred slowly seeing Mark stood next to the chief. She got up quickly walking towards them.

"Dr Webber, Dr Bailey, how's Derek?" she asked worriedly watching their stoic expressions.

The chief walked towards her taking her arm gently. " Meredith...I think it's best.."

"No..Richard please just tell me," she whispered looking at him pleadingly.

"Meredith, Derek suffered extensive injuries, I honestly don't know how he got out of the wreckage alive. He lost a lot of blood and we managed to stabilize him. I'm sorry Meredith but the trauma has allowed him to slip into a coma and its crucial he wakes within the next 48 hours. However due to the injuries he suffered it seems highly unlikely that he will, He's in a critical situation. I'm sorry" he finished sadly.

Meredith collapsed against the wall the information too much too take in. "Can..I need to see him: she spoke hoarsely.

"Of course," agreed the chief. "I will take you to his room."

She nodded blindly and walked towards the room. Richard left her there knowing that this was something she needed to do on her own.  


* * *

Meredith stood outside the door taking a few deep breaths. She turned the handle slowly her heart clenching in pain at what she saw.

She made her way into the room, her footsteps dragging heavily against the floor. Derek was lying in the bed and he looked so fragile. IV's were coming out of his arm, bandages wrapped around his chest. She let out a strangled sob the thought of him lying there in pain tugging at her chest.

She moved towards the bed and pulled a chair gently sitting in it unsure of what to do. She took his hand in her own and kissed it gently.  
Meredith looked at his unmoving body and the tears spilled down her cheeks.

"You have to wake up Der, please for me. I don't know what I would do without you," she sniffled.

"I...love...you so much." She kissed his forehead gently tracing a finger down his face.

"Derek, you.. need to wake up.. I need you... don't you die on me...we have everything to look forward to..the house, our children...I don't want any of it if you are not going to be there. All I want is you Der"

Meredith collapsed against his arms sobbing her body shaking uncontrollably. The tears from her cheeks, landing on his arms creating a soft trail. She looked up his eyes were closed. She wished she could see his beautiful blue eyes sparkling with warmth and joy.

She laid her head against his arm quietly content in being near him and wrapping herself in his scent. She sat like that for a while crying quietly until sleep claimed her exhausted body.

**TBC**


	3. Confused

* * *

**Chapter 3 : Confused**

"Meredith, Meredith, you need to get up?"

Meredith slowly opened her eyes and blearily looked at her surroundings. It all came back to her, last night Derek had been in an accident and was now in a coma. She must have fallen asleep next to him. She looked at his face expecting to see his warm blue eyes looking at her and twinkling with mischief. Her heart broke a little as she looked at his peaceful expression, the faint beeping of the machines the only reminder that he was still alive. That there was still hope.

She turned around looking at the worried expression on Mark and Cristina's face. They had decided to leave her in Derek's room last night knowing that there was no way she would agree to leave his side. But now she needed to go, get a change of scenery and some breakfast. They were pretty sure she hadn't eaten anything since the small salad and chicken sandwich she had for lunch yesterday.

"Cris, he's not awake," she spoke trying to hold the tears back.

"He will Meredith, you have to believe in him. Mcdreamy's not that big of an ass to leave you after all you have been through together," affirmed her friend.

"Cristina's right Meredith, come on you need to get out of here. Come downstairs and grab a change of clothes and some breakfast," soothed Mark helping her get up. Meredith nodded her head in disagreement. " No...what if he wakes..and he's all alone and..."

"Mer, we'll come right back after. I promise," agreed Christina. Meredith reluctantly allowed herself to be pulled up. She knew it was no use fighting her friend's would not give up especially Cristina who could be very stubborn if needed to be.

* * *

Meredith looked at the plate of eggs and bacon in front of her slowly moving it around the plate. She watched the plate not wanting to get into a conversation with anyone at the moment. Here were her friends who meant well but all she wanted was Derek. She needed him and he wasn't here. They should be at the trailer and he should be making her pancakes with lots of strawberries and maple syrup just the way he knew she liked them. They would have been blissfully happy celebrating their reunion.

"Meredith you have to eat?" pleaded Izzie watching her friends hollow and empty eyes.

She looked up at them, one by one she scanned everyones face. She couldn't take it anymore looking at them, faces full of sympathy; silently offering her comfort. They were looking at her like she was going to break apart any second now. She got up and mumbled an apology, she was doing what she knew best avoiding the situation. To talk about it would make it seem real and it couldn't be real. She had to have hope, if she didn't have that then what else would be left. Nothing she would be empty and alone.

So consumed with her thoughts Meredith didn't realize when she collided into someone. "Sorry."

"Meredith I'm surprised you're here," came the familiar voice of Rose.

She looked up not wanting to get into a discussion with her right now. She wasn't even sure if Derek had broken up with Rose.

"I have to... I have something to do," she whispered moving to walk away but Rose insisted on blocking her way.

"So.. Derek told me its over between us, I assume that's something to do with you and today I find out he is in the hospital fighting for his life. Great way to start a relationship," she spoke sarcasm dripping with each word.

"I...that's not..."

"Not your fault. Of course Meredith Grey never does anything wrong, she's loved by all," she retorted angry that Derek ended their relationship because of her.

Meredith walked around her ignoring the taunts that followed. Rose must be right in a way. She made Derek get into the car and drive. If it wasn't for her plan he would still be with Rose not lying in a hospital bed. Wiping the stray tear that fell past her eyes she hurried her pace. She needed to be near Derek, She needed him.  


* * *

A week had passed and Derek still held on albeit in a coma but that was better than nothing. The chief had made sure that he received the best care and naturally Meredith was given indefinite leave. No one expected her to work during this ordeal. Meredith had spent every moment by Derek's side reading to him, talking about ferryboats, she refused to move only by extreme force from her friends she would step out of Derek's room and get something to eat or take a walk around the hospital. She would fall asleep in the hospital some nights and no one would move her. She was grateful for that at least. The last thing she wanted was for Derek to wake up alone.

The figure in the bed opened their eyes blinking softly as their eyes adjusted to the brightness of the room. He turned his head groaning slightly at the pain that travelled through his body. What was he doing in a hospital bed?

The smell of freshly cut flowers cut through the room. The only sound that could be heard was the distant ticking of the clock on a nearby wall.

He was about to call out when he saw her walk sadly into the room. Her head was down and a sad gleam was visible in her eyes. Clearing his throat painfully he watched as her green eyes looked up at him.

"Derek," she whispered. "Oh my god you're awake." She ran towards him dropping the magazine she was holding onto the floor, Carefully she circled her arms around his neck he could fell tears slip onto his neck from her eyes. He breathed in her scent and his arms hung limply at his sides as she peppered his face in kisses of relief.

"Thank god I was so worried and I knew you would come back," she spoke hastily.

Meredith stopped noticing Derek hadn't said anything and looked at him concerned. "Derek?"

"Who are you?" he asked confused.

**TBC**


	4. Lost Memories

**Chapter 4: Lost Memories**

Derek looked at Meredith as she pulled away from him. "Who are you?" he asked once again.

Meredith couldn't believe what she was hearing. Derek was asking her who she was. She moved off the bed quickly looking at him with sadness.

"Derek?"

"I'm sorry but do we know each other?" he asked oblivious to the immense heartache she was feeling at that moment. Her soft voice was faltering and she was looking at him tearfully.

"Are we friend's?" he asked when he didn't receive a response.

Meredith turned away, the harbored tears falling down her cheeks. She wiped them away and turned to face him glancing at his confused face. His soulful blue eyes searching for answers.

"I..we...we..dated..were dating its all so confusing," she whispered looking at him.

"Dating, " Derek squealed out the word in disbelief. "No you're lying. Did Addison put you up to this?"

Meredith looked at him painfully she hadn't been expecting him to say that. He had called her a liar. She watched as his face creased into an angry scowl. His broad shoulders slumped and she heard him quietly sigh.

His eyes traveled over the woman who was claiming to be his girlfriend or ex-girlfriend. His gaze moved nervously down the length of her left arm.

The silence that filled the room was almost deafening. "Where am I?"

"Seattle Grace Hospital," she responded sombrely. He looked at her once again utter helplessness in his eyes.

She needed to get out of here. It was too much. Derek didn't even recognize her. His eyes were cold as they drifted over her figure. There was no warmth radiating from those blue eyes she loved so much. She looked at him sadly before fleeing the room.

Derek watched the broken woman go not even bothering to stop her. He didn't even know who she was. All he wanted was to get out of this hospital and go home. If only he knew where he was.

* * *

Izzie, Mark and Cristina watched as Meredith tearfully ran down the hospital corridor. They had come by to see if there was any news on Derek and by the looks of it something serious had happened.

Mark stood up immediately stepping in front of her and pulling her by the arms. "Meredith what's wrong?"

They all looked at her concerned as tears flowed down her face and she struggled to breathe. "Derek...he's...he's...awake."

"I don't understand," spoke Izzie. Derek was awake wasn't her friend supposed to be happy?

"He doesn't recognize me...he's ...not Derek," she cried painfully grasping onto Mark and crying on his shoulder.

"Where is he?" asked Izzie. How could this be happening? Why was her friend suffering more heartbreak?

"In the room," she sniffled. "He's not there..he's..cold...and..when...I...told...him..we..were.. he called me a liar."

"Come on Mer, We'll go with you and its important the Chief knows," assured Cristina. Meredith nodded her head silently allowing her friend to lead her away.

* * *

Derek was nervously twiddling his thumbs and moving his feet when he heard the door to his room open. He looked up and saw her walk in again. He could tell she had been crying from the redness of her eyes and immediately felt guilty. He knew he was probably the cause.

Sure she was beautiful, her soft blond hair framing her delicate face. Her eyes were the most amazing color of green he had ever seen. He noticed that she didn't come towards the bed this time instead opting to stay next to the wall. He wanted to tell her he was sorry for hurting her but he didn't even know her name.

He watched as the doctor walked into the room and smiled politely. "Hello how are you? Now I'm going to ask you a few questions. It's standard procedure. Do you know who you are?" he asked simply.

Derek nodded his head in response. "Yeah Derek Shepard."

"And can you remember anything about being in an accident?" asked the doctor searching his eyes for a reaction.

Derek looked at him. "Accident I don't remember?"

The doctor nodded his head in response. "Do you not recognize Meredith?" he spoke. She looked up painfully,

So that was her name Meredith. He tried to search his mind for the name but nothing was clear. It was all a haze.

He nodded his head sighing in defeat. "No...she said she's ... that we know each other...but I don't, I..only just moved here...I have a new job at this hospital." he spoke confusion masking his face.

Meredith felt her eyes brimming with tears. He remembered nothing about the past four and half years of his life in Seattle.

"You live here, in a trailer," she spoke. " That's Richard Webber. He's the one who gave you the job here," she spoke leaning against the wall.

Derek found himself captivated by the woman in front of him so much pain resided within her words. She didn't seem to want to look at him instead trying to look busily around the room.

"We're we in love?" he asked needing to know.

Meredith looked up as soon as the question left his lips. Why did he ask her that? Did he think that they didn't love each other?

"Meredith," he whispered the name sounding strange to his own ears.

"We ..we..yes," she choked out running from the room once again. Derek sighed loudly looking at the doctor. Dr Richard Webber, the man gazed at him kindly.

"I've upset her again. I didn't mean too but I don't know who she is.

The doctor looked at him sympathetically. "I understand how difficult this must be. Do you have any pain at all? I can give you something?"

Derek nodded his head softly, "I could do with a scotch," he joked.

"No alcohol till you have fully recovered but I can give you some pain relief," smiled Richard.

Derek nodded his head in understanding and watched as he administered the pain relief into his bloodstream. He silently went over the thoughts plaguing his mind. Meredith had said that they loved each other. If that were true then a part of him should still remember. Yet he felt nothing when he looked at her. He didn't feel the love he was supposed to feel.

Raising both his hands to the side of his head, he massaged his temples, trying to rub out all the confusion swimming around in his memory.

"I don't understand any of this. My head it's all mixed up, nothing's in the right place, everything's so fuzzy..." Derek closed his eyes begging for the blackness to swallow him again and return him to its warm nothingness.

"I'll be back later. You need to rest," spoke Richard leaving him alone as Derek closed his eyes in annoyance.

* * *

Meredith was sat sadly next to her friends her head in her hands as she sighed deeply. She didn't know what to do. How could everything turn out like this? All she could see was Derek's eyes string back at her hollow, void of any emotion.

"Meredith,"she heard Richard's voice bringing her out of her reverie.

"How is he?" she asked looking up.

"Confused as you can imagine."

"What is wrong with Dr Shepard?" asked Cristina.

He looked at Meredith gently taking her hand before continuing. "The trauma he suffered through the accident appears to have affected him more than we first knew. It would explain why he flat lined on the operating table. It seems as though Derek is suffering from retrograde amnesia."

Meredith sighed deeply and a single tear slipped over her lashes and trickled silently down her cheek. She knew what that was it's hard to believe that Derek was suffering from it.

"It's hard to say following a trauma like this the patient is unable to recall important memories and information from before the event. As for how long it could be weeks, months even years before Derek remembers anything. In most unlikely cases some patients memories never recover," explained Richard softly.

"Oh god," cried Meredith tears streaming down her face. Derek might never remember anything. Why was life so unfair? Why did they have to continue suffering?

"What am I supposed to do?" she whispered looking at the chief for answers.

"All you can do is make him comfortable in his surroundings. Maybe when he's in familiar surroundings he'll start to remember."

"Can I see him?" she pleaded her heart aching with pain.

"Sure but you have to be prepared for the things he won't remember."

Meredith nodded her head in understanding and walked towards his room once again.

* * *

Quietly walking into the room Meredith was prepared to see Derek's eyes staring back at her questioning her motives and silently debating with himself who she was. What she saw instead melted her heart. He was soundlessly sleeping in the bed. He looked so peaceful just like Derek but he was different now. He wasn't her Derek his mind was clouded with lost memories.

Closing her eyes Meredith blinked back the tears and walked towards the bed pulling an empty chair next to it. She sat quietly watching Derek the movement of his chest as he breathed in and out.

Delicately she reached across lightly tracing her fingers across his face. How was she going to look at Derek and not expect him to hold her in his embrace?

Silently standing up she felt a tear roll past her eyes as she watched him. Carefully kneeling over his body she placed her lips against his in the softest of kisses lingering slightly against his warm mouth. Tearfully she pulled away resting her head on the bed beside him.

"I love you Derek," she managed to rasp out before tiredly falling asleep next to him.

**TBC**


	5. Moving In

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed. To those leaving nasty comments there may be alot of fics out there with this storyline but I have never seen them and there can be more than one fic with the same subject. There are plenty of MerDer in high school fics too does that mean we should not write anymore. This fic has a completely different concept and just cos I include Rose in it does not make me a closet Rose fan. It's called a fanfic deal with it and if you don't like no one is forcing you to read it. **

**Thanks to every reviwer who has been so encouraging. It's for you guys I am still posting :) **

**Chapter 5: Moving In**

Derek woke up with a groan and looked blearily around the room. Damn he was still in the hospital. He thought it was all a terrible nightmare and he would wake up back home. Noticing the extra weight on his arm. Derek looked down and saw a mass of soft blond hair covering his arm. Upon closer inspection he realized it was her, Meredith.

He looked at her tears streaked face and felt his heart lurch in pain. She really was beautiful. Softly he ran his hand through her hair and across her cheek. Meredith started to stir slightly from his warm caress and Derek quickly pulled away.

What was he doing touching her? He didn't even know who this woman was. Yet somewhere in his heart resided the feeling that she was pretty special to him.

He listened as she moaned softly and her eyelids fluttered open. Her sparkling green eyes came into view and he found himself staring at her in awe.

"Mmm morning," smiled Meredith reaching up towards his lips.

Derek hastily pulled away moving onto the other side of the bed as far as he could and Meredith suddenly remembered where she was. It all came flooding back to her as she recalled that she wasn't at home in bed with Derek. They were at the hospital with him having no recollection of who she was.

"I'm sorry," she whispered looking away. "It's just that..."

"Do you know when I can get out of here?" he asked trying to change the subject.

"I'll ask the the chief. I'm...sorry...I...err...I...have to go," she spoke running out of the room.

Derek frowned resting his head back against the pillow not calling out to her as her sobs echoed down the hall.

'

* * *

Later that afternoon Meredith came back with the the chief and Mark by her side. Derek sat up quickly feeling a sharp stab of pain go through his chest at the action.

"What are you doing here?" he growled looking at the man in front of him. "It's not enough that you sleep with my wife now you are here in Seattle."

All eyes turned to Mark who was calmly stood in the room looking at his friend. Meredith was right Derek really was in a bad state.

"Well nice to see you too Der," he smiled knowing that as of right now Derek probably wanted to kill him

"Skip the formalities Mark. Why are you here?"

"Look Derek a lot, almost five years have passed since that night. A lot has changed since then. Trust me," replied Mark looking at him directly.

"I find that hard to believe," came the response. He glared at Mark, the the tension in the room escalating.

"So Derek, Meredith here tells me you want to go home," smiled the the chief hoping to grasp ahold of the situation and coming to check his wounds.

"Umm yeah. I'm not really a fan of hospitals. Don't get me wrong I love working in one I just don't like being confined to a bed in one" he replied looking at Meredith.

Meredith placed the bag she was holding onto the empty chair next to him. "It's some of your clothes. I thought you'd be more comfortable in them," she explained at his confused look.

"Thank you," he responded sincerely.

"Well the wound seems to be healing nicely. Although I would still recommend that you rest and take it easy," informed Richard. "You're job will still be here for you but you are in position to work right now.

"So when can I get out of here?" asked Derek getting annoyed at the way Mark was talking to Meredith. They seemed pretty close, too close for his liking.

"I would like to keep you in one more night for observation but you can be free to go tomorrow."

Derek nodded his head gratefully and looked at Meredith who was nervously shifting her feet from side to side.

"I'll come by tomorrow morning and pick you up," she whispered walking out of the room.

"Pick me up?" he spoke confused. "I thought I lived at a trailer?"

"You do, but in your condition there is no way you can live alone especially with the memory loss. So it's best you stay at Meredith's," informed Mark. "I would offer myself but I don't think either of us would make it through the night."

"You live alone?" asked Derek looking at Meredith. This was not good he couldn't live with someone he hardly recognized. Granted she was beautiful but he didn't see it happening.

"No, I live with my friends, well one of them moved out, George so there is a spare room...all...and...we..wouldn't be alone," she rambled nervously.

He smiled a little finding her rambling kind of cute.

"It's for the best, I wouldn't feel comfortable with you living alone," remarked the Chief.

Derek nodded his head, as long as he was out of the hospital it couldn't be that bad.

He laid his head against the pillow and watched as they all silently left the room leaving him to his thoughts once more.

Meredith walked out of the hospital. He was coming home, her home tomorrow the only problem was for him it was anything but home.

**The Next Morning**

Derek blearily opened his eyes to be met by the sight of a tall brunette haired woman. From the looks of it she was a nurse at the hospital.

"Derek, you're awake," she smiled hugging him softly.

"Sorry..I.. don't know you," he responded watching her move away and look at him concerned.

"I know Dr Webber told me, you have no memory," she lied looking his chest.

"Girlfriend?" How many girlfriends did he have. First Meredith and now her.

"I thought.. Meredith," he began.

"Meredith Grey has been trying to come between us this entire time. Honestly she never gives up," she snarled cutting him of.

Derek looked at her confused. Meredith didn't seem like the type of woman who would do something like that but he didn't remember much about her either.

"I missed you so much," she smiled before he had a chance to respond she placed a kiss on his lips.

"You might want to lock the door next time saves people like me from coming in," came the familiar voice of Mark.

Derek looked at him angry that he was here yet again. "Mark!"

"Well if it isn't everyone's favorite nurse," he grinned looking at Rose. "By everyone I mean the male staff of the hospital."

"You can't talk to her like that," defended Derek.

"You don't go out with her anymore Der, between you and me you should be glad you got out when you did. She will sleep with just about anyone," he smiled his eyes twinkling mischievously.

Rose stood up annoyed that Mark was ruining her chances. She should have locked the door.

"Oh and Nurse Abby your STD results have come through," he chuckled watching as she fled the room.

Derek looked at the smile plastered on his face. "That was confusing."

"I know you don't have any reason at all to trust me but stay away from her. She's nothing but trouble. Oh the chief told me to tell you he will be in later to check up on you," he grinned leaving the room.

* * *

Meredith arrived later that morning carrying a cup of coffee and a brown takeout bag. Walking into the familiar room she gasped softly as she saw Derek pulling a t-shirt over his well-toned muscular chest. Her eyes drifted over to the scar visible on his abdomen.

"You're early," he smiled slightly.

"Yeah well I know how much you want to get out of here " she replied handing him the coffee and the small brown bag.

"Thanks," chuckled Derek pulling out the tempting bagel and taking a bite into it.

Meredith smiled as his eyes drifted over in happiness.

"What's wrong?" he asked noticing the sad look in her eyes.

"Nothing," sighed Meredith. "I was just thinking."

"Of happier times," he stated knowingly.

Meredith nodded her head softly willing back the tears. She couldn't keep crying in front of him. Derek opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. What was he supposed to say? He didn't know how to comfort her.

Meredith sighed crossing her arms. "The chief should be here soon."

As if on cue he walked in the usual friendly smile plastered on his face. "Looks like someone is eager to get out of here."

"Yeah I just need to go home," grinned Derek. Home? He wasn't even sure where home was but he was willing to go with Meredith, back to a place he couldn't even remember.

**That Evening**

Derek shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He still couldn't believe he'd actually agreed to go home with someone he didn't even remember. Turning his head slightly he carefully studied Meredith.

How could he not remember anything about the woman sat opposite him? Her eyes glued firmly to the road as she drove. Surely he would remember something but he didn't. Not one thing came to his mind. Looking out of the passenger window he watched as the scenery went by he desperately wanted to remember something. Turning slightly he watched the frown marring her perfect face.

"Meredith, how did we meet?" he asked nervously.

Meredith was stunned by the question. She knew it was going to come eventually she just didn't expect it to hurt so much. She knew she had to tell him certain things about their life together if he was ever going to have any hope of regaining his memory. Taking a deep breath she bought the memory of their first meeting to the front of her mind.

"We met at a bar, Joe's. You came over to me and told me you were a guy in bar," she smiled. "After a lot of drinking we went back to my place and you know...," she whispered shyly.

She could see in her mind the image of his face as he came up to her and tell her that she could grow to love him. How true that was. From that moment on she was captivated by him.

"Oh," responded Derek turning his gaze back to the window. He watched curiously as she pulled up into a quiet street and looked at the houses they passed by nothing seemed remotely familiar. Everything was strange it was like he was living in an alternate reality.

He looked up as Meredith parked in the driveway of huge house. "You live here?"

"Yeah I do, it was my mother's house" she whispered in return getting out of the car. Derek followed pulling out his bag.

"Was?"

"Yeah, she died," she spoke sadly.

"I'm sorry," he responded carefully taking her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Come on we better get inside," she stated leading him into the house. Derek followed silently walking inside. The house was cozy; he silently studied the furnishings, the curtains, and the chairs.

He moved away from the wall angrily. "I can't remember any of this. If...if...I loved you...so..much I should be able to remember but I don't. Did I ever love you?"

"Derek..it's not going to be easy," she replied sadly her voice on the verge of tears. She wanted him to hold her to be her Derek again.

He turned away harshly. "I'm really tired and I wanna go to sleep."

"I made up the bedroom for you," she whispered.

Derek reluctantly followed her upstairs looking at everything along the way.

"Err...this is your room," she whimpered opening the door to the guest room. He nodded wordlessly walking inside and dumping his bag on the floor.

"Thanks."

"I guess you're pretty tired. It's been a long day and you could get some rest," she spoke.

Derek watched her for a moment before instinctively reaching out and stroking a lock of blond hair behind her ear.

"Goodnight," she breathed out her voice choking.

"Goodnight."

She watched as he tuned away and ran from the room into her own bedroom collapsing onto her bed. She grabbed a worn out blue t- shirt of his. Remembering one morning she had put it on and he told her to keep it. Apparently it looked better on her.

"_Did I ever love you."_

Her eyes clouding with unshed tears. She couldn't hold it in any longer, the pain was too much and she cried brokenly.

Curling into a ball her heavy sobs racked her entire body. Her heart was slowly breaking as her muffled sobs continued throughout the sleepless night.

**TBC**


End file.
